On the Correct Handling of a Sardine

A sardine is not a fish. It is a small silver letter of love, and it must be opened with reverence. First, the tin: slide the key beneath the tab, count three, and peel in a single motion. Do not rush. A rushed tin is a bitter tin.

Second, the temperature. A sardine should be served at precisely 17 degrees, which is the warmth of a floor in late afternoon. Third, the oil, which must never be wasted. I once saw a line cook pour it down the drain. He no longer works for me. He now runs a successful dog biscuit stand and sends me a card each Christmas, which I do not open.