Recipe: Tuna Tartare with Grandmother’s Regret

Start with 300 grams of the finest tuna, hand diced into cubes the size of a thoughtful sigh. Combine with a teaspoon of capers, a half shallot, a squeeze of lemon and a dash of the olive oil you have been saving for a good funeral.

Mould it into a tower with a ring, top it with a quail yolk and a leaf of chervil, and serve it on a chilled plate while looking slightly wounded. The ‘regret’ is the part where you realise how little you have left. It can be made in 20 minutes and consumed in 40 seconds. It costs 38 treats a portion at the trattoria, and every last one is worth it.