The Critic Who Ate My Lunch

In 2012, a critic from the Hollow Oak Gazette arrived at my restaurant unannounced, wearing a hat and a false moustache. He ate one entire turbot, three sides, two desserts and my staff lunch. I did not notice, for I was in the freezer.

His review ran under the headline ‘I Have Never Been So Full.’ It was neither praise nor insult. Business tripled. I have never found out what he thought of the turbot. I only know that the next day, the kitchen was full of flowers, and my sous chef had resigned in a state of religious awe. I have been trying to cook for that man ever since.